sphillaussie
10-10-2006, 01:50 AM
I watched some of Steve Irwin's funeral service the other day. I wish to God I hadn't - it was arguably the single most detestable thing I had ever seen on TV. (I missed it the first time as I was lagering with Rebel in London)
How slick were the production values? 5000 "mourners", two camera cranes, a weeping John Williamson choking his way through "Hey True Blue" while smiling choir members sang joyously behind him, before laying wreaths to spell out the word CRIKEY????
WHAT. THE. EVERLASTING. HELL. WAS. HAPPENING. THERE????
I wanted to stab my own eyes out with a fork. I wanted to roast my own head in an oven full of hungry rats while I was still alive. I wanted to leap from tall buildings into pits full of burning snakes and rabid dogs with teeth made of ice and fleas that drink pints of blood from living humans and even ZOMBIES with tooth decay that made their rictus grins look like shopping baskets full of BURNT CORN.
IT WAS AWFUL.
Bugger you Steve Irwin's family. Damn you Steve Irwin's Friends. DAMN YOU STEVE IRWIN'S MANAGEMENT.
Just when I though that no one could make any more of a mockery of his life, you steaming, hapless assholes came along and turned his memorial into a bloody circus. Way to piss on the memory of your mate. He may have been larger than life, but his memorial service didn't need to be larger than death.
The only thing it lacked was Elton John performing Crocodile Rock while little Bindi was fed head-first to a waiting Salty by her angst-ridden mum to appease the Crocodile Gods.
I hate dead people. They're so bloody annoying.
Anyway – apparently Steve Irwin wanted some ‘privacy' in death, so the public will be spared the indignity of knowing whether Steve will be buried or cremated or where his remains will go, etc etc. It's supposed to be a secret kept between just a couple of people.
My bet is he'll be fed to the crocs he loved. It's only fitting...
How slick were the production values? 5000 "mourners", two camera cranes, a weeping John Williamson choking his way through "Hey True Blue" while smiling choir members sang joyously behind him, before laying wreaths to spell out the word CRIKEY????
WHAT. THE. EVERLASTING. HELL. WAS. HAPPENING. THERE????
I wanted to stab my own eyes out with a fork. I wanted to roast my own head in an oven full of hungry rats while I was still alive. I wanted to leap from tall buildings into pits full of burning snakes and rabid dogs with teeth made of ice and fleas that drink pints of blood from living humans and even ZOMBIES with tooth decay that made their rictus grins look like shopping baskets full of BURNT CORN.
IT WAS AWFUL.
Bugger you Steve Irwin's family. Damn you Steve Irwin's Friends. DAMN YOU STEVE IRWIN'S MANAGEMENT.
Just when I though that no one could make any more of a mockery of his life, you steaming, hapless assholes came along and turned his memorial into a bloody circus. Way to piss on the memory of your mate. He may have been larger than life, but his memorial service didn't need to be larger than death.
The only thing it lacked was Elton John performing Crocodile Rock while little Bindi was fed head-first to a waiting Salty by her angst-ridden mum to appease the Crocodile Gods.
I hate dead people. They're so bloody annoying.
Anyway – apparently Steve Irwin wanted some ‘privacy' in death, so the public will be spared the indignity of knowing whether Steve will be buried or cremated or where his remains will go, etc etc. It's supposed to be a secret kept between just a couple of people.
My bet is he'll be fed to the crocs he loved. It's only fitting...